What is Rope Space? | A transcendent experience

I recently thought: “I wish I could describe the feeling of how rope space feels to me.” 

And then I thought: “Why don’t I try?” 

Because I recently, after a 6-month hiatus, had rope put back on. And I immediately dropped in. The neuropathways I had worked so hard to cultivate - subconsciously at first, and then consciously when I was aware that those pathways in the brain could be changed - they were still there, channels still active to get me to that state of being.

I was worried that because this interim period had some life-altering events that, perhaps, all things would be altered, but I was so grateful to find that that wasn’t the case. 

That as soon as the feel of jute, the scratchy comfort full of the pain-pleasure edge that I seem to live on, as soon as that was applied, I felt the world begin to slip away. The sweet plant smell of the natural fiber rope filled my head as I closed my eyes. I didn’t have to pretend to smile and nod and understand what other people were saying, or guess what the correct social response should be. My job as the rope bottom was just to be. To be a body, in a body. 

I gave affirmations to the top, yes this feels good, no that’s a little tight. Trusting that they, a person I had an established relationship with, for I can’t tie with ones I don’t, trusting that they will take care of any outside stimuli that may fly at me that would need my attention. 

My mind, my beautiful restless, endlessly curious, and creative mind, trying to be 10 steps ahead, but learning the importance of letting go for the fleetingness of the present moment - the only time that matters - could rest. My mind could stop thinking and just rely on the body, and its parasympathetic features to do their jobs. 

I could trust. Myself, the rope, my top, the moment, life. 

I could breathe. The world reduced to in and out, senses heightened, but not overstimulated. The rope holding me in. Holding me down. 

I could orgasm. Something that my brain would often not allow without the rope. With the road away from the mind and into the body. 

I could be. A body. A person. A living organism flying through space on a rock orbiting around a star. An impossibility alive. 

That is what rope space means to me. And why I find rope to be something that is almost transcendent. An intimate experience. Sex. Life. La petite mort.