Balance Lives In Me - I saw the sun and the moon in the same morning sky today
The moon and the sun were out this morning during yoga.
I had some beautiful moments of presence in that class, the breeze surrounding me, supporting me. Tickling and giggling around me like the way they portrayed the wind spirit “Gale” in Frozen II. Reminding me to stay in my body while I try to stay rooted in the present at various moments.
And in this class, watched over by those celestial beings, I found I had unlocked deeper expressions of the poses. Even achieving my yoga nemesis - putting my back feet down in downward dog, seemingly effortlessly, after struggling for years to “accomplish” it.
It happened after a long break, as this was the first yoga class I had taken since the pandemic really got going. I was able to pull off those more “complete” poses long after I had let go of it ever happening. After I had embraced my body exactly where she was, and that was enough. And today, when I came to this space just to be, just to feel whatever came up, it “happened”.
And I felt that life metaphor.
So, I’m taking the lesson to continue to let it all go. Whoever wants to come in and out can do so. I will find that calm center. I’ve caught glimpses of that freedom.
I will find that center and will not come out of it for anything. Or anyone.
Though I will always leave the door open to meet people where they are.
At the end of class, our teacher read the Rumi poem below. I remember her reading it when I first met her in 2017. I had just started this journey, the one where I realized I was going to have to do things differently to find peace in my soul. But I couldn’t imagine what that would look like yet.
“The breezes at dawn have secrets to tell you
Don’t go back to sleep!
You must ask for what you really want.
Don’t go back to sleep!
People are going back and forth
across the doorsill where the two worlds touch,
The door is round and open
Don’t go back to sleep!”
I still don’t know what it looks like, but I know I’m much further down the path. I know I can’t control the outcome. I know I can’t even imagine what the outcome may be or what the future will look like. But I do know that I can’t do anything but one foot in front of the other and trust that I’m on the right path. The only path. My path.
That there is no turning around or going back to sleep.
And to be grateful to be in this moment, lying on the ground in shavasana, warmed by the sun and protected by the moon. Knowing that both live inside of me, in balance.
I am perfect and whole just as I am.
